I have heard that once you die, that you are able to re-live moments of your life. Barrett has brought me so many moments worth re-living.
- The first time I saw him through the blue sheet (I has a c-section). He looked directly at me with those slate blue eyes, like he had been waiting to meet me.
- Holding a nine day old sleeping Barrett, and wondering if there was any way I could be happier.
- Carrying a four month old Barrett in the Snugli on his first Halloween. He was dressed as a duck, and everyone smiled and pointed at him. He was the cutest duck ever.
- Watching him chase plastic eggs around on his first Easter. He never crawled, but would scoot really fast to catch them, then throw them and giggle.
- Watching a fourteen month old Barrett climb up and down a curb at a county fair. He had just mastered walking and he was thrilled with himself. He was wearing denim overalls and a yellow shirt, and yellow shoes. I watched as older couples walked by and smiled at him, remembering a child they had that was once small and now is not.
- The day Barrett handed me a bunch of plastic flowers at a junk store. He smiled at me as he did it. It was the first time that it ever dawned on me that this grand, indescribable love that I have for him is returned. He loves me too!
- The day he met his brother for the first time. He patted him on the head and smiled at him. He understood that he was his brother, and has shown nothing but love for him.
- The day that I yelled at Dan (one of our dogs) and I later found Barrett consoling a sulking Dan in my bedroom. He was kissing him and petting him.
- One evening, only a couple weeks ago, when I lifted Barrett to bring him inside after playing, and he was upset. He cried, but he gave in and his body fell limp in my arms. I put my face to the nape of his neck and inhaled. He smelled of grass and baby shampoo, a symbol of the crossroads from babyhood to boyhood.
Happy Birthday, Barrett. I'm so proud to be your mom.