Monday, November 23, 2009

Turkey Romance

This will be the last time that I post about Mallory, the nutty turkey. You may remember my previous posts about Mallory. She has been gone for a couple weeks now and I have been in denial. I keep thinking she may just show back up. The reality is that there is about a .004% chance of that occurring.

Here is what I want to believe is Mallory's fate, and no one can tell me otherwise:
Turkeys mate in long-term in pairs. We have (had) two females and one tom turkey. Shawn, our resident tom, took to Melissa (Mallory's sister), thus making Mallory the third wheel. Mallory embraced being single, running about the farm doing crazy s#!* like taunting the dogs, and letting two years olds pet her. Then one day she took a walk down to the creek bed.....

Out of the mist appeared a young, roguish tom turkey. He was a wild turkey, not tethered to a hen house, or a five o'clock supper time. He introduced himself as Thor, and complimented Mallory on her plumage. "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?" asked Thor. Mallory explained that she was misunderstood back on the farm, and that her only friends were a redheaded midget and a noisy hound dog. Thor asked her to come away with him and be "his lady". Mallory obliged. She hopped on the back of Thor's, turkeys don't drive motorcycles. She got in his Camaro and drove off, barely glancing back at Dammit Farms.

One day, after many, many months, Mallory will stop by the farm again. She will tell me she's okay and show me her babies. We'll have a cup of tea and talk about the old days, then she'll go back to her life in the wilderness with Thor.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Winter Wheat

The glorious thing about rural Oklahoma in winter is the vibrant green of winter wheat. After the few trees that we have lose their leaves, the green returns with the fields of winter wheat. It's one of the many things I love about living here. It's hard to get the winter blues when all you see is sunshine and green fields.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Daylight Savings.......why?

In case you were wondering...neither goats, nor chickens, nor dogs, nor babies understand that there is an arbitrary time change. They can't tell time time. I understand why some rural communities ignore daylight savings altogether. You can't just throw everything's schedule off by an hour, and not have repercussions. My goats unroll the plans for a coupe de' tat if I am ten minutes late with breakfast. If I am an hour late, fires are burning, and they have devised a plan to sacrifice me to their god.

The result from the time change seems to be that every creature on Dammit Farms now has a F*#%&# up schedule. The human children have been particularly cranky and unpredictable. Who suffers the most? Me. I am hallucinating from lack of rest. I found myself standing in the yard this morning, wondering why I had walked out there. I had to go through a mental checklist " feed the chickens? no. I'm not carrying garbage, or anything that needs to be disposed. That's not it. Are the dogs misbehaving? Did I come out to yell at them? mmmm...nope. Waffles! Waffles from the deep freeze! That is why I came outside."

From my understanding daylight savings began during World War One, as a way to optimize productivity in factories, which were mostly lit by the sun. It has little importance now, and actually costs us more than it it's a pain in the a$$.

Friday, November 6, 2009

My New Music Fascination

Why these dudes are rocking 'staches....I have no idea. It negatively afftects their Hottie McNasty status. Is the 'stache in this year? Last year it was the beard. I told Jason that beards were in style according to "Rolling Stone", and he shaved his lumberjack beard the next week:-) Apparently he is too cool for trends.

Jason, don't get pissed at me for writing that.

Anypoop, I love love love this band.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Never Say Never

I said that I would NEVER get a puppy again after Dan. Dan ruined puppies for me, since he was a complete turd when he was a baby. Why is there a puppy in my house? Well, there was a dog living with her litter under one of Jason's natural gas compressors (he is a compressor mechanic). Only one of the pups lived. Jason had been trying to find a home for the puppy, as well as his mama. There didn't seem to be any takers for either dog. I told Jason that we could take the puppy if he was sure there was no other option.

Jason got a service call for the compressor where the dogs were living on Sunday night. He witnessed the puppy nearly get hit by a truck while trying to follow his mom across the road. Jason couldn't live with himself if were to come back and see the sweet puppy as road kill. SO.....we have a friggin puppy. Jason named him Mack, after the truck that nearly snuffed him out. He is very sweet, and cute. The boys adore him....and I am also falling for him. He is an Australian Shepherd mutt, which ruins our hound theme, but hey.....he fell in our lap.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A Rooster and a Skunk

Many thanks to Meemaw for making Gunther's skunk costume! Also, a big thanks to my nephew for passing down the rooster costume to his little cousin, Barrett. We had a lot of fun trick or treating. Barrett could hardly carry his sack, it was so full of candy by the end of the night.