Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Sweet Little A$$hole

I was very cautious in picking the names of all three of my children, or so I thought. My husband and I bickered discussed for weeks when it came to naming each child.The name couldn't be too common, or too weird. The name couldn't easily be shortened into another name, or easily rhymed into a schoolyard taunt.We literally had over a hundred qualifying points for a name. Is it hard to spell? Has anyone had that name on any episode of "Intervention" or "Hoarders" ever? We out ruled the name Luke because a Luke lived in the dorms with Jason in 1998, and he was a "druggie weirdo". Now, I doubt Jason was exactly Mr. Sober at that time, so he must have REALLY been a druggie weirdo. Point being: we thought we had thoroughly discussed every option before choosing the names of our three boys.

In naming our third child, Axel James, we overlooked one important detail. We never asked his older brothers to SAY the name before we chose it. A few weeks ago, I overheard my husband telling my four year old to "stop saying that". "What did he say?" I asked. "Asshole" was my husband's answer. Then, it dawned on me: he's not saying "asshole", he's saying AXEL. Darnit. My children have been known to spit out an occasional curse word. I have no idea where they learned that shit. However, they were not cursing. They were talking to their baby brother. Jason and I tested this finding. "Gunther say 'Axel'" Jason requested of our four year old.
"Now say 'asshole'"
Gunther smirked and very quietly said "asshole".

It sounds exactly the same coming out of his little mouth. We did the same test with our five year old, and it yielded the same results. How did we not think of that!? We are working on teaching the boys to accentuate the "x" in Axel's name. "ACK-sil ....say it with me". Until they get it, here is my sweet little asshole.