IQ Test

I keep seeing these offers to take a free IQ test on yahoo. They always have a picture of Oprah, or Obama with their IQ underneath them, challenging you to beat their score. I took one of these goofy tests four-ish years ago and the results have plagued my relationship (now marriage) ever since. For the record, I don’t think these tests are very accurate. Anyway, my score was pretty high and when I was finished it gave me this goofy certificate to print out that said I officially had a high IQ. It looked legitimate when the ink hit paper; it said my name and plainly stated that I had a high IQ underneath. To be obnoxious, I decided to put it on the fridge.

Later that same day Jason and I had a spat about something or other. He told me “you just think you are sooo smart and you know everything.” I didn’t even respond, or mention the fact that I now had official documentation proving my genius. He had yet to notice the certificate on the fridge. I went to work (I was bartending at night), and hoped he would find that silly certificate.

He found it! He used the url at the top of the printout to go and take the same test. What was his score? A full thirty points less than my score! He printed out his test, and I later found it in a pile by the computer. He never mentioned the test to me. Later when I brought up the test he claimed that he “wasn’t trying” when he took it. Who takes an IQ test and doesn’t try?

Now every time Jason has the nerve to say “you think you are sooo smart”, I reply: “Well, actually…..” (I’m always interrupted there)
“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT STUPID IQ TEST! I told you I wasn’t trying.”

Jason is, in reality, a very smart man. He married me, didn’t he? He is much smarter than I am about a lot of things (Jeeps, livestock, wind direction, weapons, mythology, fast food, dog breeds……not multiplication tables, though). I just happen to be a better test taker. He has a wealth of knowledge about a lot of useful stuff…no, really. This doesn’t change the fact that I will ALWAYS use that test as leverage, mainly because it irritates him so much. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do to our mates? Irritate the bejesus out of them?
(Jason, I know you read this sometimes.I love you!)