Locked Out

A few nights ago, I attempted to sneak out to feed the animals. It was almost dark and Jason would be late coming home from work.Usually I would take the kids out with me, but it was bitter cold and we were all recovering from the flu.` I put the kids in front of the t.v. with some snacks, and slid out the door with the baby monitor in hand, so that I might hear any real catastrophes. There is a reason why single mothers don't have hobby farms, it just doesn't work. When I returned from my chores a few minutes later, the side door was locked. I went around to the front door, and it too was locked. Barrett was smiling at me through the window.
"Barrett! Turn the lock. I can't get in." I made turning motions with my hand and pointed at the door.
Barrett laughed.
I kept my eye on the situation through the windows while I filled some water buckets for the animals with the hose. I was hoping that Jason might just drive up at any second, and the problem would be resolved. Gunther was walking around, crying a bit, but he would stop crying when I talked to him through the window. Every time I banged on the door, Barrett would laugh. Oh, and did I mention it was about twenty degrees outside?

I finally came to terms with the fact that Jason was not going to pull up and rescue me. I had to break into my house. I walked around the house, and sized up which window would be easiest to open, or break. Most of the windows have an inner and outer window, and are not easy to breech. I remembered that Dan had broken the inner window in my bedroom recently, while yelling at a plastic bag blowing through the yard.Seriously. So, I would only have to open one window there. I got in pretty easily. Jason had left the ladder out for my convenience.

When I came in, Barrett acted as if I had been out having a fun adventure. Since I had left, he had removed his pants and his diaper. He had also pulled a stool up to the kitchen counter and had turned ON A BURNER. It was fortunate that he had only burned the bottom of my mashed potatoes and not lit the house on fire. He had also dropped some miscellaneous utensils into the the two pans that I had on the stove. I was in the process of cooking dinner when I went out to do my chores. I made sure to turn the stove off, but Barrett seemed sure that I had made a mistake.

Well....you might guess that I will not leave my house without a key ever again.